Bonnie Blossman

As I watched episode 5 of Style Network’s Big Rich Texas, I felt compelled to reevaluate the life choices that led me to the recapping of this show.

This week’s episode of Big Rich Texas probably sparked a DEFCON 5 phone call by Rick Perry to an intern who immediately screeched up on two wheels at Bonnie’s pad, threw a sac over Whitney’s head and then dumped her across state lines with a warning never to return. But even if that mission was a success, you can’t un-ring a bell. So viewers worldwide could possibly be under the impression that Whitney Whatley is an adequate representation of Texas. And that Dallas is run by the Fashionistas' founder Heidi Dillon, and/or that Pamela Martin-Duarte plays a key role in setting the style for our city.

Episode 8 of Style Network’s Big Rich Texas begins with an admirable dedication to consistency with Pamela Martin Duarte still wearing old lady clothes and awkwardly laughing at her own jokes. This week Duarte finds out that a computer has matched her with Bonnie for a golf tournament. This must be the computer at production headquarters that computes which scenario will generate the biggest catfight.

Episode 6 of Style Network's Big Rich Texas begins on the golf course where Bonnie is at the wheel. Leslie is riding shotgun when she sees AJ the golf pro and asks Bonnie to pull over behind a tree so they can stalk him. At first I thought she felt the need to hide because she had a school girl crush and was embarrassed. But then I remembered how the women sexually harassed him in episode 2 and I realized, she’s hiding so he doesn’t run away, busting through the chain-link thug prevention fence.