Leading Off (3/23/09)

1. Jenny the Elephant’s new home — a 10-acre African Savanna attraction at the Dallas Zoo — will be ready by next spring. But since it’s still at the Dallas Zoo, Mayor Leppert should expect a sternly worded letter of rebuke from Lily Tomlin any day now.

2. Howard Johnson, the first black homicide detective for the DPD, retired. And since he did nothing to get Jenny the Elephant moved from the Dallas Zoo, he should expect a caustic e-mail from Lily Tomlin in the next week or so.

3. There’s going to be hail and wind and a bunch of other weather over the next couple of days, so be careful. Mother Nature, look for a wry text from Lily Tomlin for ruining Jenny the Elephant’s day.


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13 responses to “Leading Off (3/23/09)”

  1. Blake says:

    Why is there a question mark inscribed in a black diamond at the end of this post?

  2. Blake says:

    I should add, Lily Tomlin wants to know about the question mark. I think it upsets her.

  3. Grammar Police says:

    So will Howard focus on running his hotel chain now that he’s retired?

  4. Daniel says:

    No, he’ll focus on playing tuba and bass clarinet.


  5. Lily Tomlin says:

    Not cool. *sniff* *runs off crying*

  6. The Bigger Guy says:

    I just want to make sure that I understand that Zac Crain (see coverage below of SWSX)
    is a critic of the writing of Lily Tomlin.

  7. Zac Crain says:

    Not of the writing as such, no. Or in general.

  8. The Bigger Guy says:

    Then what is it Crain, her defense of an animal? People who stand up for what they believe in are a joke? When you are trying to use humor as the expense of a humorist, you are proving your worth.

  9. Troll Doll says:

    TBG: You had me until that last sentence, which made no sense.

    If you joke about a comedienne, you prove your worth, is what I’m getting. But does that make you worth a lot, or a little? And if so, isn’t that subjective?

  10. Zac Crain says:

    @TBG: Yes, I despise animals and people who believe in anything.

  11. Zac Crain says:

    @TBG: I thought about this while I was outside just now, and realized I shouldn’t give you an answer quite so flippant.

    I appreciate Jenny’s plight and, yes, would prefer to see her live out her time somewhere besides for a zoo, and definitely somewhere besides for the Dallas Zoo. I’m an animal lover.

    And I have no real disdain for Lily Tomlin. She’s made me laugh on numerous occasions. But I don’t feel I have to treat her with reverence, just because she is who she is. I appreciate her thoughts but, unless I’ve missed it, that’s all she’s contributed to the situation.

    I guess sometimes my irritation at celebrities who meddle outweighs my love for animals. So sorry for that. But I don’t take back the entry. No one can stop me from running a bad joke into the ground.

  12. The Bigger Guy says:

    Just because no one can stop you from running a bad joke into the ground, doesn’t mean that you should. How exactly has Lily Tomlin meddled? Is it considered meddling to stop and render aid to someone injured?

    The point I want to make is that celebrities get involved in social and human rights issues everyday. Why has D Magazine and DMN selected Lily Tomlin as the butt of jokes?
    What about the Dallas Zoo who has been caught in multiple lies in the situation regarding Jenny.

    Sadly, Jenny will live out her last years in pain and agony because the mainstream media of Dallas finds it too freaking macho to care for an innocent animal. If you had any balls you would do some investigation into the sad reality of the situation.

    Someday you should go to the Dallas Zoo, stand and watch Jenny for an hour or two.
    Then ask yourself, why would Lily Tomlin come to Dallas. The answer, because she hoped to bring light animal abuse that the Dallas media (with the exception of the DO) decided to ignore. I don’t think she came here because she was looking for some free publicity.

    If the meddling of a celebrity outweighs your love of innocent animals then so be it.

  13. Zac Crain says:

    @ The Bigger Guy: I concede. You’re right. No fooling around.

    Shake on it?